THE WEEK OF FINALS HAS BEGUN!!!!!
and may I add is nearly over. The months of impossibly hard procrastinating have culminated into 1 week of pure cramming. Yes, I'm proud to admit that I cram. I don't usually use that word, thinking it makes studying at the last minute a bad thing. But I realize that taking a test is not really a reflection of how much you know. It's a reflection of how much worthless information you can stuff into your poor cerebrum.

I am always telling people that I have no reason to study for finals, and for the most part its probably true. But then, being the hypocrite that I am, I stay up until midnight studying. It's like an urge. It's actually a bit paradoxical because studying is supposed to be good for you because it will help you on the test, but you are so tired from studying the next morning that it actually makes you do WORSE.

There are a few tips I have for those of you who are like me (are there any of those people) on how I survive finals week. (Although I applaud Yuki's idea of "bribing" or perhaps "sweets for points" proposal, it is much better to form a good relationship with a teacher because then you can read the subtle hints that they are trying to send to you subconsciously. i.e. my cult teacher will often smile if you continually question him and he doesn't answer, and then you know you have the right one)

Tip #1- The week before finals... Don't do anything in class or perhaps finish everything in class. Do math homework so you get extra candy, and 1 night finish the entire bio review guide so you don't have to worry about it. (Hint- splitting things into sections only makes it more unbearable)

Tip #2- The weekend before the final, go visit some one or something. Have fun. Watch movies. Play cards. Then, as you look forlornly at the foreign language book, tell yourself, "I'll study tonight." Then when "tonight" comes, instead of studying, you sit and watch a fascinating show about some totally pointless topic, like the differences in the 2 majority parties. Then when you return from said trip, study a lot the day before your language exam, and also start and finish the review guide for the final you have in 4 days.

Tip #3- After the first day of testing, in which you will very obviously finish early, go home and grab a bag of something VERY bad for you, and sit on the couch and watch the entire 3rd installment of the LOTR. Of course, dozing during this movie is entirely appropriate. Then watch games shows for an hour or two. Then begin studying for the culmulative sci. test you have tomorrow. Then, that night as you watch an "impartial" beauty pageant, make you poor parental figure spend two hours going through the entire review guide. Then, as you promise yourself you're going to bed- stay up another 2 hours just figuring out how exactly neurons do work.

Tip #4- Always study a lot, because then when you take the test... you KNOW IT ALL. This is what happens after you take the infamous sci. test that you thought would be impossible, but of course, due to the "intelligence" of some people in your grade whom the school doesn't want to fail, you will of course do well.

Tip #5- The day before your math test, go home, grab a gift certificate, and go shopping. Preferably to a book store, where you will buy extremely over-priced and under-priced books. After paying an exorbitant of money for two books, you go to your favorite restaurant and eat WAY too much. Then, when you come home planning to study, instead take out your new book, and proceed to start and finish it before you go to bed. Sparse amounts of time will be allotted for studying for math. Go through every review, test, and quiz. Then go to sleep at about 1-3 in the morning.

Tip #6- Sitting around in a classroom, having been done with your test for 30 min. does nobody any good, and makes you more nervous. Perfection is something to aspire to, and understanding is great, but if you only are unsure on one question. TURN THE TEST IN, and stop annoying the people around you with your sighs of boredom.

Tip #7- No matter how many times you tell yourself that you don't need to study for the finals... They don't matter anyways, the only place people will find you is a) begging for god's mercy on AIM b) causing severe eye damage by frantically looking at a small print book or c) doing something else that is much more fun, but thinking about studying nonetheless. As much as you like to say that you won't study, you will, and you won't stop until you fall asleep on the page, hoping that osmosis really does work. BL. NP