Let's see. Pick one of the following five answers that best answers the question posed below. If you so feel, use a number two pencil and fill in many, many little ovals that correspond to the correct answer. Be sure to fill in all of the space though because even the slightest pencil mark outside of the oval will cause the problem to be wrong.

1. What is the purpose of the pPSAT?
a) to better prepare you to take the actual SAT
b) to make most sophomores shiver in fear as they read the words "FILL IN MAJOR"
c) to show sophomores just how much they are actually going to have to study before they take their SAT's.
d) To allow most of the kids to fail here, so that they don't fail when it actually matters.
e) To add a little more to the ever growing credit card statement that is known as high school.
(How much do you think that pre-test cost our poor impoverished parents?)

2. What part of the test did NP like the most?
a) Reading Comprehension
b) Writing down your own answer math
c) The fact that kids were late "due to traffic"
d) The part where we filled out the information, which actually took longer than one of the sessions of the test.
e) The bathroom break.

3. What part of the test did NP like the least?
a) The grammar section (who really knows grammar anyways. I know French grammar better than English grammar. Maybe I should take the SAT in french. It would make more sense)
b) The section on parapsychology
c) The math sections where her calculator threatened to shut off.
d) The fact that complete idiots could do as well as her, if they knew how to guess well
e) The section where the air conditioner just randomly shut off. (I need that background drone to help me on tests.)
(extra choice) f) Walking in the rain to take the test because they didn't have room for us at the school.

4. Which major will most of the kids in my class put on their pPSAT?
a) prelaw
b) premed
c) secondary education
d) no idea because I thought that was what parents were for, to give you money
e) wait.... you have to take classes in college??? I thought you just drank lots of liquor and partied!!!

This concludes the first section of NP's revisions to the pPSAT. Please fold up your answer sheet, proceed to the nearest trash can, and throw it out because that is where it will end up anyways. Apparently, this guy at the PSAT office just sits at his desk all day, looks at a name, and shoots an arrow on a dartboard to see what score they will get.
Hmmm... Braniac McGee- 70 %tile
Hock E. Player- 89%ile,
and Will Shakes-Peare- 60%ile (apparently, he didn't know grammar well enough)

But remember folks... It's just the pPSAT. It doesn't really matter...... (or does it? Mwa hahaha) BL. NP.